The Underground Man.

   At first the Underground Man in Notes From Underground by Fyodor Dostoevsky confused me. Dostoevsky's writing style took me a while to understand, so I reread the first chapter twice. However, the Underground Man confused me because he contradicts himself. He has a diseased liver, but refuses to treat it, "I think my liver is diseased...I don't treat it and never have...I refuse to treat it out of spite," (Dostoevsky 3). When he says he refuses to treat his liver out of spite, he reminds me of those kids in class that sass the teacher just because they want to prove a point. But I've always wondered, what point are you trying to get across, exactly? The Underground Man realizes his spite has no purpose; he knows that he's only hurting himself.  

  The Underground Man lives in a city with an unhealthy climate, "I am told the Petersburg climate is bad for me...But I am going to stay in Petersburg," (Dostoevsky 6). By this point, I understood the character more. I began to realize that he makes choices that hurt him because he enjoys suffering. 

   He even admits he takes pleasure in his suffering, "I reached the point of feeling a sort of secret, abnormal, despicable enjoyment in returning home to my corner on some disgusting Petersburg night," (Dostoevsky 7). I don't understand, exactly, why The Underground Man is this way, but I think that he would rather stay secluded and secure in his agony than fail to be an "active" man. Maybe the Underground Man is afraid of failure? He claims that boredom drives him to live and think this way, but I'm not sure if I believe him. 

   I also question the Underground Man's sanity. He sometimes makes randoms statements that seem almost hysterical, "For instance, I have a friend. Bah, gentlemen! But after all he is your friend, too; and indeed there is no one, no one, to whom he is not a friend!" (Dostoevsky 20). And who is he talking to? What gentlemen? Are the "gentlemen" supposed to us, the readers?  

   I'm very interested, and a little nervous, to see how the rest of Notes from Underground plays out. Hopefully the Underground Man isn't that crazy. 

• A photo of the author, Fyodor Dostoevsky.